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A SECOND PAGE OF ZIMPOON SOUND CURIOS.
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ZIMP - 031  THE CHRISTMAS TREES  (Sometimes known
as JOY DAVISON + THE CHRISTMAS TREES)
THE SNIPER @ THE GATES OF DAVE
After what seems an age Zimpoon return in the Summer
of 2008 with this petite debacle that obviously missed the
post-punk showboat by several nautical miles!
The Christmas Trees are a group compromised of animal
puppets and cute critters, they loiter in the discoteque
zoo and don't know how to spell discoteque successfully.
Musically the 23 songs that make up this album feature a
fecund profundity of electric instrumentation wanked by
tentacles, mauled by paws,  and ...hold on a minute gotta
go sing the country ballad "Crazy" in a local karaoke
...damn, I came second, what am I going to do with a
family sized tub of Rum Swarfega?
Anyway, the music - it's an articulate sprawl of
ramshackle funk spazz emeshed with moments of genius
synth washes, sax bleats, glistening sex beats,
poseur-billy skronk blat eccentricity.  It's hotter than
Fran's file depositry and livelier than jive lava.  Some of
the guitars are polite and demonstrate what a decent
musical upbringing can achieve.  Other guitars sulk and
grate like petulent kittens scratching away remorselessly
into the very bleeding core of your prostrate stereogram.
I sincerely doubt anyone like Rita Coolidge would dig it
and that's a good thing, yeah?
For this recording the fabulous Christmas Trees boasted
the following: Roo-bert Mitchum, Ape Humanly, Vargas
the Coin-Operated Sloath, Mr. Cranium, Doris Gosling and
Banyols.  Anne-Marie = piano on 9, Jill = bass on 12,
Fran = guitar on 16, The Entire Top Shelf = lyrics for 20.
No one in the current line-up is called Joy Davison - it's a
Pruned by Steve Albeano & The Peppermint Wordsmith
@ Third Mind Electrical Circuitry, Gosport, England,
These are the songs:
1. Moving to Alsace Lorraine 2. Upon Reading an Early
Learning Centre Guide to Post-Punk 3. Taste the Spud of
Dracula 4. Dirigible 5. Brain Jalopy 6. Goats Shaving
Underwater 7. The Tooth Clamp Fairy 8. Wet ‘n’ Windy 9.
Plasticine Oysters Basking on A Certain Patio 10. Milk
Disco 11. People Writing In 12. B & A 13. Intermission 14.
Electric Anti-Masturbation Machine 15. Pompey Won the
F.A. Cup 16. Check-Out Time is Imminent Mr. Lobster
Priest 17. Doin’ Somethin’ 18. Ginseng Acrobat 19. Sunny
Spells Throughout the Night 20. Robbo’s Pipes 21.
Bahkoonaan 22. Muscular Pea Trainer 23. Porno
Pensioners on Prozac
Indeed such was the enthusiasm towards this project
there is at least another possibly two albums worth of
remixes, dubs, alternate versions and unreleased bounty
to tickle your pleasure.  Watch out for these if you're
interested in that kind of thing.  Alternatively we might
emulate desperate greedy grown up labels and issue a
Oh and another thing the album currently comes in a
choice of at least four covers not because we want to
fleece the more gullibly inclined amongst you, but simply
because we can't bally well decide which one is the best
design.  I know which one my favourite is but I'm not
ZIMP - 032  THE CHRISTMAS TREES VS PEDANTIC
18 untitled tracks of complete cut-up spazmo remixes
based on the "Sniper @ The Gates of Dave" CD-R (see
above) as demolished by Mr. The Pedantic Pedestrian
(www.myspace.com/pedantic pedestrian). Infact there
has been some albeit limited debate as to whether this
anthology should be billed as PEDANTIC PEDESTRIAN
VS THE CHRISTMAS TREES.  But you can argue until
you're blue in the face that one of half of this odd
coupling would not exsist if the other wasn't invented. So
there and if you disagree then tuff titty go sign up for a
It's not only based on those prowling rascals T' Trees but
also nearly four decades of interwoven fart splurge
nonsense courtesy of Gosport's third most popular hair
pie art folk nutters JOHNSON'S GRIDLING BAND
So if you like this kind of thing check it out!
ZIMP - 034 BEE MOVIE: VARIOUS ARTISTS PAY TRIBUTE
TO THE MOTION PICTURE THE SWARM
A project so immense, so grand, so bee-autiful it took the
combined efforts of ZIMPOON, RAP (H)OWL, FGAC
(R.I.P.), BRUISED BANANA COMMUNICATIONS and
SHINING FOOD AND THE SPOKEN WORD imprints to
make it happen.
You've seen "THE SWARM", yeah?  One of the greatest
or if not the definitive bee movies ever made?  Of course
there are other lesser bee based disaster motion pictures
but this one takes the biscuit, covers it in a fine layer of
honey then leaves a vile nasty lethal sting in the mouth.
The only thing more horrific than that is in all likelyhood
(and that's not how you spell likelihood!) is this
dangerously pneumatic pert 18 track CD-R.
It's a collision between man and musical beast versus the
celluloid bee devil made manifold by an international cast
of schlock fans and thespians alike.
You may like it.  It may make you wretch.  Questions may
be asked about its political worth in Strasbourg.  But it
exists and like the film that inspired it you may want to
experience it again and again on repeated play on a wet
Bank Holiday or when the sport has finished early .
Buzzsaw technique brought to you by the following:
1. MIGHTY SPRINGBOKS - I Wanna Dog Yr Bee (5:38)
2.  WOOGER THE FLUSTY DOG - Movement 1 to 4 (8:02)
3.  HAPPI SHYT PUMPKIN -  Swarmin Norman (1:38)
4. ENCHANTED TALKING FURNITURE - No Bees Were
Harmed During The Making Of This Song (1:03)
5.  MOUNTANUS - The Cosmetic Benefits.. (3:53)
6. LIBERTY CRIPPLE - Vacant Chair at the Barbeque
7.  BLOOD SHOVEL - The Mighty Bees of Doom (0:53)
8.  FELLER MORGAN - Beast Flix (1:31)
9.  PEPPERMINT WORDSMITH - Beehive Yourself (2:25)
10. SHELLEY WINTERS EXHUMED - Insect Hades (2:05)
11. STEVIE CHUNDER & FAKE VEGETABLE REICHSTAG
featuring JON BOUTIQUE -   Sirens Of The Hams(3:32)
12. MONKEY RIDES A BIG RED BICYCLE - Allegory For
13.  LUKE SIDEWALKER & THE CAR WHORES - Trainers
14.  FUHK MOTH - It Made Me Wanna Make Out With Lawn
Green's Disabled Wife  (0:59)
15.  PETER, PAUL & TOILET TRADER - BeeMovie (2:58)
16. FLIPPO FLAPPO FLOPPO - Lecco Il Marzipan (Dai)
Suoi Capezzoli (2:09)
17. HOMOSEXUAL STOMACH LOCUST - Powerful Insekt
18. KITTEN HONK HONK - Bee Fart (2:05)
Sleeve version #1
Sleeve version #2
Sleeve version #3
Sleeve version #4